In our marriage I notice he rarely initiates and when I'm naked he doesn't look at me.

He used to tell me at the beginning of our marriage that he didn't feel attracted to other women and I thought that made complete sense cause I'm an attractive woman and he wouldn't look my way.

He told me recently that he lied about not being attracted to other women, so that's a lie I believed for our whole marriage. It's really putting things into perspective. He wants to try and fix the broken trust and hurt, saying no matter what he wants to do besides sex I'm his wife and he has to do it.

Yesterday he took me on a date and he initiated sex, he penetrated for a little bit, then gave me oral. He actually fell asleep while giving me oral. I woke him up and he got me to orgasm and then afterwards he couldn't get it up at all. He said maybe it was that I didn't writhe like I usually did when I had an orgasm, or that he was sweaty and tired. I dunno. It's never happened before and now he's trying to focus his sexual desires fully on me and not letting his mind wander, and being honest, he can't do what he used to. He even tried grinding on me and it was so embarrassing he was just flaccid and I really felt like I wasn't enough.

I'm really tired and sad of things being this way for me. I know I'm a very beautiful woman, although this has hurt my self esteem. I keep wondering if I changed something about myself maybe he'd like me better.

I'm not going to leave him, even though we're young we have a two year old son, I don't want to split up for his sake.

Hi Sarah, we've actually had his T tested. He's in the healthy range, albeit it is on a lower end of the range.