Does this behavior seem normal?

I am at the end of my rope with my 4yo. We try to practice peaceful parenting. We talk about how we use our words and healthy ways to cope with our anger/stress.

My daughter is constantly fighting us. If we tell her to use the bathroom (after 15 hours of not peeing in the morning), to get her socks, or get dressed. We tell her in a nice calm way, but she’ll just scream no and argue. It’s like all of our modeling is ineffective.

When we tell her we love her, she says “okay.” She likes to brush my hair and only snuggles, hugs, and kisses at night.

My biggest concern is today her younger brother was trying to help her in the garden and pushed him down and tried to hit him with the hand held shovel (we got there in time to stop it). And she just doesn’t seem to cate. At all. About anyone. Sometimes she will do nice and thoughtful things but like 10% of the time. She does not have ASD. She just seems so heartless... I know toddlers are egocentric but she seems to take it to the next level. Any thoughts? Thank you.