Okay so. I’m of Hispanic heritage. And I have what’s called a Nino. A Nino is a godfather in the Hispanic culture. He’s my mother’s brother as well as my godfather. So last year around Christmas (2020), it was like days after my grandfather’s death. (Like days before Christmas) And my Tia (Aunt) came over with her boyfriend to the house. I had asked her boyfriend when he was going to ask my Tia to marry her. Because she finally found someone that treated her and her kids right. And I was so caught up on like teasing him. Calling him Tio David.

That when my Nino walked in…I accidentally called him Tio. I tried to look like it didn’t affect me and tell him that I was talking to David. Well..he then started calling me niece…not my usual nickname. Which honestly hurt. Then a day later when I finally talked to him and apologized. He said something that really hurt me. Like I know I hurt him by calling him Tio on accident but he said this. “I understand that accidents happen. But out of all my godchildren you’re the one I least expected it from.” I literally broke down and hyperventilated. I still can’t forgive myself. I honestly hate myself for it. I have a hard time letting go of guilt and forgiving myself.

What do I do? How do I move on?