Last cycle was in April around the 20th about three days before my late dad's birthday. I am 44 years old an my husband too be is 33. We have been trying for about three months now. An well when I had cycle in April was regular for sure. Spot on first day on tissue then water after that then of course flow for about three too give days, normal sometimes very short that I don't even use only maybe five to eight plugs for the whole time of the cycle. Well long story short, I do not remember if had cycle last month an about a week before the third of June I took a test an came out negative. So I waited til I went an seen my OBGYN on June 3rd for my complete physical an also informed her of this an she had me take another test, so potty an cup it was just to come back negative of course. But she did give me a script for lab work to go do for checking my AMH levels an also blood work for another pregnancy test. But out of nowhere this morning at around 5 a.m. I went to the restroom an when went too wipe myself all of a sudden I had blood discharge on tissue and it was not the spotting kind of charge like I usually have. But also according to the <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">Glow app</a> I use daily I am supposed to start a cycle on 06/13/2021. But honestly I did not want too have this happen. I have been waiting for the right one to come into my life an show me what love really is an I have that an also wants too have children with me. Neither one of us has been blessed in our lifetime sense we were with the wrong people an now that we are were we are too be we want it too work. This morning before using restroom I did experience sharp pain in my left side by my pelvic area an now feel like having pelvic pain laying in bed still. But also on June third was my complete physical an well no discharge from the procedure or cramps at all an got results an all is clear. But doctor says I still have chances an once I have AMH checked I could get reference for a fertility specialist too go too to see if I still progress with ovulation an what my options are on the fact of what the readings would be if I have eggs an how many possible an if ovulating regularly every month. Feeling broken hearted an also have feeling of being punished too. But I know I am doing everything right every day an besides the new man in my life has shown me many ways of love that I have never done before that I know we doing everything right for sure. I even go as far as too put feet up in air for long periods or even stay on my knees an elbows if in another position too to make sure as well. So I am not doing so good with this disappointing situation right now. How can I get past this an keep beating myself up about the miracle I wanted so badly just slip right by just like that? WHY CAN'T I BE HAPPY AN HAVE A BABY OF MY OWN AN BE HAPPY WITH A FAMILY I HAVE ALWAYS HAD DREAMS FOR?Out of three children my mother had which is two boys an me, I am the only one that has not had children at all, but I have a clean bill of health too have the dream of a lifetime an just not being able to is killing me........😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔🤬🤬.