Would you cut out alcoholic family members from your life even if they were not “problematic”?

Question

My in laws are both alcoholics. They’re in complete denial because they only drink beer, but they will start drinking in the morning and continue all day/night. 
We hadn’t seen them since Christmas, so my husband invited them over for the weekend to see the kids. They were completely unproblematic. They were polite, helpful, and nice. But from about 9am until 10pm, they drank beer after beer. They don’t even behave drunk because their bodies are so used to it. They didn’t eat all day or drink any water either. They had a few bites of dinner. Clearly getting all their calories from beer. I think they probably had 15 beers a piece. My FIL is retired but my MIL works full time and she does drink before and after work. (When we’ve visited them, we watched her down a few beers before going to work). 
Like I said, they’re in total denial and say “it’s not a problem because it’s just Bud Lite and it’s like water.” I’m just hesitant to continue letting them into our lives. I don’t want my children to see that and think it’s normal. They have drank like this for YEARS, so I know eventually they will start seeing health consequences as they get older. Wwyd?

Answer

Theres no problems so why are you trying to create a problem? They are nice and polite and helpful so I think you should let them live their lives how they want. They aren't getting black out drunk or being rude so I don't see a reason to cut them out of your lives.

Answer

Sounds like you just want an excuse not to deal with your in-laws 😬

Answer

What an incredible learning opportunity for your children. To teach them to have compassion for people even if you disagree with their life choices. 
And how judgmental of you. If they are unproblematic, nice, helpful and love you and your kids- why on earth would you punish them for a mental illness (addiction) especially if it causes you or your children no harm? 
My parents are alcoholics. It absolutely has turned violent and problematic on certain occasions- their addiction runs their life but I would never willingly cut them out of my child’s life all together. We keep them at a distance, and don’t see them very often and when we do, we leave early, before they get drunk. I will protect my children first but I refuse to dishonor my parents. I love on them, encourage them when they are making strides toward sobriety and we set healthy boundaries with them. I try to text and call my parents often and involve them in my life. 
Is it easy? No. It’s heartbreaking for me to watch my parents health decline- but what an amazing opportunity to teach my children that love knows no bounds. Maybe  my take on this will help you also see this situation from your spouses point of view.

Answer

I would say that I don’t feel comfortable with drinking alcohol in front of the kids, and they can do what they want in their own time but around your children its your decision. And that’s totally reasonable.. they obviously have a problem

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I’m just curious how their son feels about potentially cutting them out

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if they’re not doing anything but drinking how they want, they’re not drunk, rude or anything like that i don’t see why you’re trying to make an issue out of what THEY drink. It’s selfish too because that’s your husbands parents and they have grandkids. you just said they cause absolutely no issues so why is it any of your business what they drink or do with their bodies? if i was your husband i’d be mad youre trying to cause a wedge simply bc of what they like to drink

Answer

Gosh a lot of these women are so rude!! 
My advise to you, I would not cut them out. They’re not problematic, so there’s no reason to. My dad is a functioning alcoholic (that’s what your in laws are too) and he’s wonderful. He only drinks beer but he drinks all day and acts pretty much completely normal. Of course I don’t love that he drinks so much, I don’t agree with it, but as long as he’s not causing any harm then I will just have to stand it. He’s been a firefighter for 10 years too so it’s not like he can’t work. 
So, as long as your in laws aren’t causing problems then no don’t cut them off. You might even be able to help them!

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If they aren’t causing harm to anyone or putting themselves or others in danger, it is none of your business.

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I wouldn't have them baby sit but I wouldn't shun them either. But your children will be exposed to others who drink as they get older and its good to lead by example.

Answer

Maybe their son can talk to them about it a bit? Perhaps shorter visits so it's only seen as a couple of drinks rather than a full day drinking session. I get it as my dad drinks and that takes priority every weekend. It's a different set of circumstances but not healthy. On another point your kids will probably talk to you about it at some point and that's where you can then talk with them about moderation etc.

Would you cut out alcoholic family members from your life even if they were not “problematic”?

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