I want to hear from ladies who have been married for a second time, or more.

How do you keep the fears from the experience of your previous marriage and divorce from impacting your ability to fully commit ever again?

My new guy is nothing like my ex. My ex husband was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. My current boyfriend is kind and patient. I feel safe with hm. We’ve been together for a year and a half and I do trust him, with all my heart.

Of course, my ex was also GREAT at love bombing. He’d shower me with gifts, compliments… he could be so sweet and romantic. My current boyfriend is not the romantic type. He does thoughtful things for me, he respects my boundaries. He enriches my life in so many ways. But I would not describe him as sweet. He struggles to be affectionate but expresses that he wants to be better at meeting that need for me.

Long story long. He wants to get married. I love the idea of that. We live together and are already such great partners. And I’m more scared than excited. Im scared that he’ll change, stop trying, and not be who I need. Im scared I won’t give a whole hearted yes when he officially proposes because I’m too wrapped up in trying to control him.

We are in therapy. I’m in therapy. I’ve read tons of books. Not really looking for those types of suggestions, just stories I can learn from and consider. Thank you!

(Though I’lol never turn down a good book or podcast recommendation)