So me an my husband have always talked about having a big family. After we had our youngest we decided to wait to have another till she got a little older. I got Nexplanon put in 6 weeks after she was born. I had it removed a month before my 3 year mark. We started trying for our 4th. It is now going into our 9th month of trying. But every month AF visits. And every month I try to convince myself that it’s just not time yet. Every month I feel like it’s my fault we can’t get pregnant. To make it worse a few nights ago my husband and I were sitting down watching a movie and he looked over to me and said, “ What did we do different to get pregnant before”. Our 3 beautiful babies happened so fast. He is actually wanting to have another baby so bad. And it makes me feel like I am failing him. I know 9 months does not seem like a long time compared to a lot of women out there that have been trying for years. But I feel like I made the wrong choice by having the Nexplanon. I was told by my doctor that I was healthy and still young and shouldn’t have any problems getting pregnant. My oldest is even asking me when are we going to have another baby. Everything just keeps feeling like it’s on me that we have not gotten pregnant again.

Im sorry for this rant. I just needed to let it out. For all you women out there trying I’m sending you lots of baby dust, whether it be your 1st or 20th. Keep your heads up. Because I know I’m trying to.