I need advice.... I’m drowning in anxiety!

Hey guys! So I’m new here, and I definitely need some advice in the relationship department.

So back story, I’m currently with my long term boyfriend of almost 3 years. We are both 23 and we have an apartment together (and a dog). Things have been great up until maybe the last 6 months to a year. We started in a little rut when I went back to school because of my busy schedule and us not being able to spend a lot of quality time together. That and I was struggling with hormones so my sex drive was and has been kind of low. Anyways, I pushed it aside and have been trying hard to make sure we spend time together when we can and keep the ‘spark’ alive.

Well a little bit of a game changer came into the picture. I’ve started falling for one of my coworkers and as of lately he is all I can think about. I was open and honest with him and told him I liked him but that I was in a relationship and needed time to sort out what I wanted before we proceeded any further. I would never ever cheat on my boyfriend and regardless of these new feelings, I love him dearly.

From here I’m not sure what to do. I love my boyfriend so much. He treats me well, and we have really built a life together. But for some reason I’m having a really hard time shaking this coworker and don’t want to settle for someone and then regret not having taken a chance later on down the road. Am I crazy? I call my mom daily telling her how much of a bad person I feel like. I also haven’t talked to my boyfriend about this yet because the coworker I am falling for happens to be a good friend first and foremost and my boyfriend jokingly passes comments about me leaving him for this guy and that he’s a threat and stuff like that. Jokingly, but still. I know if he found out I was interested in him he would be heartbroken. I just don’t know where to go from here. Trying to follow my heart but I’m not sure what my heart is saying.

Thank you for listening and giving advice. Love this platform and you all!!! <3