IDK WHO ELSE TO TALK TO I HAVE NO ONE

My wife (same sex marriage) told me today that she is loosing feelings for me. Idk how to feel about this, I’m broken. I thought the only person who would understand me would be the person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Now I really do feel alone. I struggle with depression, bpd and anxiety. I hate expressing my feeling a lot because I tend to get judged all the time, so very often, I never tell my wife when I do feel upset is because I don’t want to ruin her day you know... and she’s always telling me don’t keep anything from her and to always tell her when I’m feeling off, but it’s like when I do, she doesn’t really see it as serious. She doesn’t get it, and I don’t expect her to but it’s like when I call her out on it... she says that I’m tripping and she does understand me. I feel like she tells me things I wanna hear just for me to shut up. But now today, she finally admits that she’s loosing feelings for me... and I’ve always knew in my mind or atleast that’s what my thoughts tell me. Ugh I really have no one to talk to without feeling shamed about my feelings. Hate being a burden.