Nervous about delivery

I’m having baby #2 in two weeks with a scheduled c-section. I had baby #1 via c-section however it wasn’t my first choice. I was induced due to high blood pressure at appt earlier that day. I had a 26 hour labor where i was on pitocin and they broke my water and i had an epidural only to dilate to 7cm after 26 hours. They told me i could continue with labor or have a c-section. I said “get this baby out of me”

They had to give me ketamine because the two shots of numbing or whatever they use wasn’t working and i felt them pinch me when they tested it. I had a beautiful healthy baby girl who was 10lbs 5 oz.

I decided to do a csection this time around because i don’t want to go through a long stressful labor again and i already have the scar there so why not?! However this delivery i am so much more nervous than i was with my daughter. I’m just so anxious and nervous about being put under again because the medicine doesn’t work for me. I want to be awake and fully aware when i meet baby boy. I was kind of out of it when i met baby girl and dad got to meet her first. I’m super nervous about possible surgical complications. Like it’s all so nerve wracking and overwhelming.