I just watched a video on a girl telling her story about becoming a mom at 13. She explained the hate she got, she also explained the happy life her and her daughter share together today. It got me thinking about how so many teen or preteen moms out there either hurt themselves, get abortions they don’t want or give up the child even when they don’t want to, all cause they were scared.

I don’t condone teen pregnancy, as a mom, I hope my kids can wait until their older to have kids but I’m not going to do that by scaring them by telling them how miserable it is to have kids and that their lives will be ruined. We as parents see the beautiful side of parenthood but that is never mentioned. We as parents know that all babies are different, but that’s never explained. If my kids came to me at 13 and said they were pregnant (or if my sons said they got a girl pregnant) I would first ask them what they want to do and go from their. Yes. I will let them know the hard struggles they’re about to endure, but I will NOT forget to tell them the good things. I will tell them while yes you’re going to be up all night with a baby, I will let them know that while my oldest son slept on his own, the whole night through right off the rip while my youngest son never slept the whole night through AND needed to cosleep until he was almost 2. Not all babies scream all night and never let you have a moment of shut eye. I will tell them that kids are not cheap, but you can still spend less. Instead of spending 1000$ on a fancy crib, you can get one half the price on eBay. Facebook market. Craigslist. I got 2 cribs for free! My first son? I got two of everything. Crib. High chair. Car seat. Clothes to last him until he was 1. And spent less than 400$.

I’ll let them know that I will be there to help, but im not going to do it for them. If my daughter had a baby at 14, and was trying really hard and doing good, and came to me and asked to watch the baby so she can go to a slumber party, I’m guna let her! It’s so unfair that as adults we find baby sitters to go out, but when a young parent wants the same we say “nope, this is what you get”. And me as a parent? I’m going to do everything I can to make sure my daughter doesn’t get pregnant or my boys don’t get another girl pregnant. But I used to be a kid, if I wanted to do something, no matter how hard my mom tried, I did it. If the same thing happens, I’m going to help them through it. I’m their parent, I’m also partially responsible for what happened. We also need to stop scaring teen boys into running after they get their girlfriend pregnant. It takes two to tango, teach them to take responsibility. Part of why we have “dead beat dads” is cause society puts parenting responsibility solely on just the mother, making ditching the kid seem harmless. Teach the boys that yes their duties in parenting are just as hard as the mothers, but that it’s the mother that has the swollen painful leaking breast that kid cries for all the time, it’s the after pain of birth that the mom has to suck it up and endure so she can get up and function. It’s the mom that society is expecting to do EVERYTHING. I can’t tell you how many times my kids doctors have even said that it’s rare the fathers take the kids to the doctors. It’s always the moms.

We can help prevent teen pregnancy without scaring the hell out of these kids.