I need advice on feeling left behind

My entire life has felt like one big race. People say it’s so easy to change your mindset but I constantly think about the same thing over and over again.

I’ve had a great deal of friendships. But sometimes I self sabotage myself by comparing myself to them.

One of my past friends was constantly having something exciting happen to her. She was becoming more and more cooler? Idk.

We just drifted.

Now my current friends I fee left behind because they all have boyfriends and have experience. Why does that bother me so much that I’m so “innocent”? I want to savor the moment but something deep in me believes I can no longer relate to them anymore so I can’t help but close myself off.

Also it’s always hard for me to talk. I’m not sure why but I can never think of things to say when I’m with them. I just feel like nothing is new with me. And when I tell them that it’s like things just continue.

Any advice on how to relax or worry about my own well-being? I don’t want to become more interesting because I know I am. I just have a hard time showing it.