Help! Scared I’m going to resent babies gender!


So I have two little boys with my ex partner and I am now pregnant with my third baby but a different dad I was with him for a few months he turned out to be very nasty and a complete waste of space! Things got bad and I don’t want him anywhere near me for various reasons but I’m 14 weeks pregnant and I’m so so scared if it’s a boy I’ll struggle to bond because I know it’s his :( I would love a little girl more than anything after having my two beautiful loving little boys I just want a mini me! For some reason in my head if it’s a girl it’s more mine than his and I can bond better I wish I’d never have met him it was the worst mistake of my life. I’m also scared to find out the gender at 20 week scan in-case it’s a boy and I go the rest of the pregnancy disheartened so I’m considering waiting til birth when the baby is just there?

Please I know this sounds ridiculous but any kind words right now would go a mile! Thankyou! Xx