So my partner has never really had much of a sex drive. I was fine with that. He would put in an effort about once a week. When we were ttc, he was on meds that increased his drive a lot (not ED meds but more like hormone replacement). As soon as I got pregnant, he went back off them. Currently 8 months pregnant with our second child. After our first was born, he kind of adopted the mindset of “if she wants it she can do the work.”

That means he wants me to initiate, turn him on, and ride him so he doesn’t physically have to do anything.

I was okay with that for a while, but it definitely got boring. I brought it up once and he was like “well if you want it 🤷🏾‍♂️”

Lately, I’m exhausted. I care for our 2 year old alone 95% of the time because he goes to work and then spends 3 hours at the gym. So he’s up around the same time our son wakes but getting ready for work and he’s home after our son is in bed for the night.

So I’ve stopped initiating sex because

1. I’m tired

2. It takes ages to turn him on so I don’t think he’s finding my pregnant body attractive, that’s whatever but it’s depressing to keep playing with a floppy dick

3. It hurts me to ride him (spd and it makes my pelvis feel like it’s splitting in half) but he doesn’t do any other positions, so I haven’t orgasmed with him in over a month now

I’m still horny though (more than ever with this pregnancy), so I’ve started masturbating after our son goes to bed, before he gets home from the gym. It’s been about 3 weeks since we’ve had sex.

So he asks me today if my sex drive finally went down. I said no, I’ve just been taking care of it because it’s easier for me. He’s never had an issue with me masturbating before so I didn’t think it’s a big deal especially when he’s clearly not turned on by me right now.

He was so so mad about it. He made a comment about me being too lazy to even make an effort.

I’m 8 months pregnant!! I get 15-25k steps a day just doing housework and chasing our son around outside. I literally don’t stop moving from sunrise until well after sunset!

I told him all this and asked him why it was such a big deal when he doesn’t even want me.

He stopped texting me completely after that even though he had another half hour of lunch break left.

Am I wrong for having given up right now? For having masturbated? For pointing out that I realize he doesn’t want me anymore??