TTC but kinda pessimistic about it..

I’ve been TTC our second for about 8 months now. (Technically longer, but I count for when my period returned) It took us 9 months last time. This time around I don’t symptoms spot, or believe I’ll get pregnant this month. I just have sex as often as my body allows. (I’ve been struggling with a low libido). Then wait for my period to arrive. I don’t count my DPO. I sometimes won’t even do a pregnancy test until the day after my period arrives. Even now My period was supposed to start today, and I don’t feel like wasting the test. We BD twice during my ovulation time. I just feel so empty trying. I really really want a second child. I wanted them to be close in age. I know a month won’t make much difference. But as each month passes I get a little more pessimistic. Is that anyone else’s stance?