So Am I a bad friend for this or am I just a crazy young women who can’t get over someone that she has strongest feelings for but in the end she wants to move on and let him go at the same time!!!

Here’s a lil background story!

I’ve had a crush on my friend since I was 14 in middle school until 18 when I had graduated high school. Then last summer I realized how long I had feelings for him and it was time to let him go and move on. But once I started my fall semester my freshman year of college, we dated and told each other how we felt! But in the beginning of this year we sadly broke up!

(We pretty much rushed into the relationship because we had mutual feelings for each other and it was also the wrong timing too because we both had things going on outside of our relationship, along with me being on college campus and he had to take college courses at home at that time, so our relationship was based off FaceTime calls and text messages)

Now here’s the story.

With that my friend / ex bf or whatever y’all want to label it, he moved out of state to pursue a career in basketball and I’m happy for him plus he told that was his plan when we was together! But now since he did move out of state my feelings is getting in the away and I’m crying for what? All I want is for him to be happy and I want to be proud of him but my DAMN feelings is ruining it and idk what this is or why I’m feeling like this, when in reality I should be happy for him and not upset!!!! So am I crazy? Am I bad friend for still having feelings for someone that I want him to be happy and follow his career and get everything he deserves?

Like I know I should let him go and move on, yes Ik that but why am I going crazy and feeling sad when I should be proud of my longest friend? I just need some answers and advice on what to do? Or something or at least talk to someone about this 😣🤦🏾‍♀️ cause to me I feel like I’m a horrible friend for letting my strong feelings getting away of this when I shouldn’t feel this way at ALL! So again I ask, am I bad friend or am I crazy? Which one is it!!!!!! 😭😭😭🤦🏾‍♀️😣😣😣