Okay back in March I was done with my relationship. I did not like how I was being treated and everything I had to go through. I met someone else. I was with them for maybe a month and my ex said he was going to win me back. He did. I got my ring. However he would get depressed about what happened And I didn't feel much sympathy because of everything that had led up to me being with someone else. So I gave him the cold shoulder. You wanted me back. I didn't consider it my job to constantly have conversations about it. A few months go by I get my ring. Still having fights here and there. Then he tells me a month ago he got a dating app and has been talking to a girl. He showed me she was saved under James in his phone. I never went through his phone. He made it out like she was stalking him. But he said he wasn't seeing her. He was nervous about telling me he had gotten an app after one of our fights. Then he gets a hotel room with this girl. Claims nothing happened. He's asking for me back. I get her confirmation nothing happened. Everyone expected me to get violent and kill him. Even I expected that. Instead I contemplated suicide and cried for days. I ended up apologizing to him for giving him the cold shoulder. But he's been giving me attitudes about it. Yelling at me for what happened in March. Telling me I'm acting to nice and it won't last. That I'm being fake about it. I surprised myself over my reaction first. So my stance is it's a miracle I acted so well and he should be happy over that. But I'm driving myself crazy. Are other things he told me the truth? As well as all the girls messages deleted coincidentally so are his best friends deleted before he came back to my house. His best friend is a girl I called on the night I found out he was staying at a hotel so she could jump my car. I know his boss and he knew about the other girl. She was meeting him at his work. Sending her pictures he took while we were together. I feel like a moron. I feel like everyone is looking at me like a joke. I'm worried my depression is going to flip to anger. I need help.