Social work threats??

Hiya Ladies,

I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant and I’m due to have a baby boy in late December.

I’m a first time mum and couldn’t be any happier.

I honestly didn’t know how to title this topic as I’m still in shock.

At 16 weeks I was meant to have a antenatal appointment with my midwife, I was given the appointment 2 days before it was due so I phoned my mum just to say “can you imagine if I didn’t get this letter until the day of the appointment” after this she offered to take me through to the appointment, which I accepted.

The appointment was early on a Monday, I got up, got ready and Waited for my mum. An hour before the appointment my mum phones me clearly worrying. I asked her what was wrong and she explained that her car wouldn’t start and she had tried everything. By this time I had missed all buses to get to my appointment on time, so I phoned the maternity unit and explained that I wouldn’t be able to attend my appointment. The lady on the phone said “so is there a reason you can’t come in or do you just not want to attend the appointment” I told her the story to which she replied “okay, that’s fine. Are you okay with your midwife calling you” and I replied “yeah, of course” and she said “okay, we’ll your midwife will call you to rebook this appointment or she’ll send a letter out with your new appointment time. Don’t worry.”

I waited for a phone call for days but never received one, I just assumed my midwife was busy and didn’t have any available times yet as she also works night shift and is busy because of her job.

By my 20 week scan, I still hadn’t heard anything so I just assumed she couldn’t find any times and would just make sure to have an extra catch up when I next see her.

Yesterday was my 20 week scan which I attended with my partner. We found out we’re having a baby boy, and we couldn’t be any happier.

At around 14 weeks I got offered a family nurse partnership which where I am from is a 2 year programme that involves a nurse coming around the house every 2-3 weeks before and after your baby is born. My partner and I felt like that would be too overwhelming for us, so we let her know that we weren’t too sure and we would need to think about it. She said it was fine and said we had until 28 weeks to make a decision.

The day of the scan the family nurse lady messaged me and asked if it was okay to phone and I of course said “sure”

It started out fine, she asked what we thought of the scan, etc. But then she decided to tell me some worrying news.

She asked why I didn’t attend my 16 week appointment, and I explained and she replied “oh, so you were under the impression that your midwife would get in touch with you. I’ll be sure to pass that on. Don’t worry, it’s not your fault”

But then she let me know that because of this one missed appointment, a group of people were now discussing my case to see if social work need to be involved!

I of course got worried and explained that I was told not to worry about the missed appointment and that my midwife would be back in touch with me and that I couldn’t prevent what happened to my mums car.

I also have ptsd from past trauma and she kept saying that I need to be in a mental health service because “we don’t know how you’re going to be and act when your son is born”

I just don’t know how to feel.

I don’t know what to do!

I’m sick with worry.