Feeling emotional about my body's mixed signals

Emily

Just need a place to vent. I'm feeling so emotional and for lack of a better word in the moment, depressed. I feel like my body is betraying me. I have always had a super regular cycle. This past year my husband and I have experienced more than one instance where I've been late on my period, one month even being 10 days late. Each time it has been negative test after negative test and then eventually I do start just very late. I have been mainly stress free, I don't use opks and just got about things naturally not trying to worry too much about it. Now after this happening all year it's wearing on me and feels like my body is betraying me. Being late, but no BFP. Just. Nothing. And then I see majority of contributors here getting positives as early as 8DPO and it makes me even more sad. I'm currently sitting here 5 days late. The last test I took was on Monday at 2 days late with a BFN. I've I've too scared to test again for fear of being let down. I've always had pretty bad pms symptoms, the whole nine yards, cramps, cravings, sore breasts, even nausea which makes symptom spotting pretty much impossible for me. This cycle though I haven't even felt anything. Not even any real cramps just little pulls here and there. For some reason this makes me feel even worse about the situation like my uterus is truly just toying with me. Sorry for the rant. I've been so emotional 😢