How do you deal with baby showers?

Question

So, we’ve been struggling with infertility for a few years now and one of the hard experiences has been hearing about pregnancy of family and friends and on top of that getting invitations to baby showers. Recently, as we haven’t been seeing our friends due to pandemic, we heard the pregnancy announcement of a few of them right before the baby shower. I’m really pissed off of why they wait so long to tell me and just invite us to baby shower when they are already 8 moths pregnant. 
How to deal with baby showers? I really need to hear your advice. Thanks.

Answer

I send them a gift in the mail and stay home.

Answer

Who cares. They can tell people when they feel comfortable.  If you don't want to go then don't. Send a gift if you feel they are semi important.

Answer

As someone who had an extremely difficult early/mid-pregnancy, it’s very possible that your friends went a long time thinking their pregnancy wouldn’t result in a baby and didn’t announce for that reason. Or they just didn’t want to. It’s probably not about you. If you’re not comfortable attending, just send a gift and a kind card.

Answer

I didn’t go. I went to one and it mentally messed me up for awhile. Then my family asked when I was next at the shower 🤯. So I didn’t go to a single one after that. I would just order a gift off their registry and stay home. I’m expecting our miracle IVF babies now after all these years. I have a friend that’s still unfortunately going though infertility journey and I never once expected her at my shower. She didn’t come and I wasn’t hurt one bit. I know how she felt. My advice just do what’s best for you 💕

Answer

For me it’s case by case basis, if they are merely an acquaintance I would probably send a card or gift. Some of my acquaintances announce late for fear of losing the baby or because of complications at work etc. For close friends or family I go and I try to remind myself that I can be happy for them and sad for me at the same time. I don’t know if I’m explaining that right… but you need to be kind to yourself and make the decision that you feel is most comfortable for you.

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I’ve been trying for 9 months now and I can’t tell you how frustrated I feel that it hasn’t happened yet. My hubby’s close friend and wife are expecting and we went to their shower yesterday. Honestly, we were both so elated for them and also purchased gifts. It was hard dealing with my feelings days prior to the baby shower but it went away eventually. Both feelings can be true at the same time so just do what works for you.

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I don't go. Send my regards and a gift but that's it.

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I don't go. I send a gift.

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I send them diapers from Amazon and stay home.

Answer

I don’t get it. You don’t want to support your friends cause of your infertility? I think that’s selfish, I say go.