Pregnancy Downs

I had never realized how important it was for me to be skinny. I always prided myself in my physical appearance, I think a lot has to do with the women of my family were bigger and my mom tended to always make remarks how she used to be skinnier than me at my age how she was a size 00 all through out high school and would be in utter awe when she would see I wore a size 6 or 7 she always told me I needed t start working out again or that I should do some squats to get a bigger butt or ab workouts to loose the roll I would get over summer break. It would hurt me and piss me off every time she would say these things one time she was going through her old clothes to donate and she said to me”I would tell you to go through them see if you like anything but they’re too small for you, you wouldn’t even be able to squeeze in them” I truly never realized how much all that affected me until now. I try to not look in the mirror because I will literally cry because of how fat I look, my husband took a picture of me and showed me and I cried because to me I looked like a cow. I am struggling with the way I look and as much as I want to only see it as something beautiful and amazing that my body is changing because there is a baby my baby growing inside of my body, I hardly ever can. All I see is I’m not skinny anymore I see the stretch marks I’m starting to get. I see a huge gut, I see my face getting fat. Then I see other women as far along as I am and I’m bigger than them, my dr telling me I’m over the normal weight. I can recognize how I’m feeling is not healthy because I am not happy with how I look, it makes me feel extremely sad and filled with anxiety