Bottle and breast weaning, help!?

I have a son who is almost 3 and still on the bottle!! I gave up after I had my baby and now it’s worse, I try give him cups through out the day and limit his baba but he screams and cries or throws tantrums when I say no baba, he smacks the cup of water or milk out of my hand are throws it at the wall.. but he is starting to drink water more from his baba instead of milk.. and also I got a 17 month old who I need to stop breastfeeding now, I have medical reasons, I can’t get my surgery unless I stop breastfeeding, and it’s been a challenge because it’s like she knew and became more attached to me.. She feeds every time she wants to sleep at bedtime, otherwise if I don’t she cries and cries and cries and her screams are so loud and piercing it’s driving me crazy… how do you mommies do this on your own? 😭