Heyyyy ladies.

I’m gonna just be totally honest, so please no judgement. Just advice or encouragement please.

I’ve not even been married a year. Prior to being married we were high school sweet hearts. Literally been together since 14 and we were married at 21.

Even dating I’ve always had this weird back of the head thought that I’d be better off without him. But I always buried it deep deep down because he makes me laugh and is honestly the ONLY guy I’ve ever been able to open up to and feel comfortable around.

(It’s weird, I’ve never been able to let a guy touch me until I met him. We both lost our virginity together and have been with each other since. I couldn’t do that with just anyone. ALOT of guys broke up with me cause I wouldn’t do it. He was the only one I wanted to do it with and he said he felt the same about me)

But since I met him, I’ve beeen diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I don’t have ANY friends. I mean not even 1 I talk to on a weekly even monthly basis. He would always say he hates my friends and call them hoes.

In highschool all he did was cheat on me, break up with me and basically play with my heart. He never slept with someone but at 15 years old, I’d have people send me pictures of girls laying on him in class, and hugging at lockers lol (sounds so petty and drama but what ever)

I stuck it through cause I love him. We became adults and since we’ve been living together he’s been a different person loyal wise. He’s manned up in that department and hasn’t done anything stupid since high school.

He’s just ugh I’m not even sure how to explain it. His family gives me anxiety, he gives me anxiety, I mean there’s a girl in our family that I had to deal him messing with in high school and it gets under my skin sometimes.

We both just got off work and I asked him what he wanted to do and he said lay down. At 4:30 pm.

I asked if he wanted to go do some returns with me and maybe go get dinner. He said “you can but I’m good” but I’m so fucking lonely I want someone with me to talk to.

Every friend I talk about he says something negative about. How they’re single and we shouldn’t have single friends.

He just brings me down. Like I said since I met him, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety ajd depression. I’ve never weighed this little in my life, even in highschool cause I’m just sick all day from stress.

I don’t know what to do.