Having a spouse is a lot like have a teenager

Them not being able to find anything:

Son: *Looking for phone that's right next to him on the table* MOMMMMM!!!

husband: *Looking for his knife that is right next to him on the table* BABBBEEEE

Getting them out of stupid sexual situations:

Me: I told you we should have started with something smaller if we were gonna try this on you

Husband: Just take it out!

Me : Okay. 123 *pull*

Husband: owe!

Son: Mom I was masturbating into a bottle and its stuck... Can you help me?

Me: Ughhh 123 *pull*

Son: owe!

These two motherfucker also seem to think food tastes better when it's MINE

Husband: *Eating my spaghetti I saved from Olive Garden*

Son: *Begging me for the millionth time if he can have my Cheetos until I cave and give them to him*

Then the simple fact that no matter how much they annoy or piss me off I love them❤

Edit: Don't worry. We have since had the what's appropriate to masturbate with talk.