What do you think about a man that holds grudges?

Question

What do y’all think about a man who holds grudges? Against siblings, parents, partners, etc. and who isn’t good with relationships of ANY aspect of life. (i.e.Friends, siblings, parents)

Answer

Id think they are an Immature idiot that I wouldn't waste my time with

Answer

not really a man at that point if they can’t stop being insecure and petty with his own family

Answer

Depends on what it is.
I hold grudges. Only for serious shit. And no I’m not a forgiving person so if you did something you gonna have to stand on it for life. 🤷🏽‍♀️
If it’s small petty things then it’s dumb.

Answer

Not everyone deserves forgiveness. Trying to force people to overlook red flags due to relationship ties is how abused people stay e during abuse. Not everyone who holds a grudge is actively angry or spiteful. They simply do not forgive and do not forget.

Answer

I think the reason the grudge started is what differs immaturity from valid reasoning. There is no one size fits all to this question. But if I had to come down to one common trait in a grudge holder, I’d say they all carry, “pain”. Either within themselves or towards the other person involved.

Answer

There’s a chance he’s battling something much bigger than the grudges and would benefit from therapy of some sort. Honestly, when people act like that, it’s because something deeper is going on and they need the work through it. Of course it needs to be something they want to do and cannot be forced on them. On the other hand, he may just be an unforgiving jerk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Depends on the reason you can hold a grudge and set a boundary and move on some things are unforgivable

Answer

What is there to think…. Hes a man who holds grudges. Is this friend, acquaintance, paRtner?

Answer

Usually a red flag! Spiteful people can be very dangerous and problematic. 
Pay attention to what ppl say about their other relationships.

Answer

Depends on the issue. I hold grudges, I choose not to forgive and forget with people who have hurt me in the past however much other family members have begged me too. I haven't seen my dad's mom in 8 years and that's been the only time in a out 12 years since I've seen her, she chose to play favorites with other grandkids and feigns interest in my life. She doesn't even know my husband's name, only that someone has told her that he's in the military. I'm not even sure that she knows I have one kid, let alone being pregnant with my 2nd. Again, I choose not to speak to her, but other people do and she still doesn't ask questions about me or my life, so its not worth it.
With my brother, he's threatened my life, he's beaten his baby mama's, his kids are in therapy because of his issues, but he wants to blame my parents for his issues he continues to have. He threatened me for the last time when he got mad I didn't invite him to my daughter's birthday party because my parents didn't want to be around him, and they were the ones throwing it so we didn't have to worry about traveling on top of the details putting a party together. 
If its small petty shit that literally makes no difference, then he needs to grow up. But if these people in his life have caused genuine issues, he doesn't have to entertain it. So it's really going to depend on the issue, and how it makes him feel. Either way if he's got some problems that he feels he can't sort out on his own with his family, counseling/therapy really helps.

What do you think about a man that holds grudges?

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