My moms self destructing herself, what would you do?

Question

My dad passed away 4 years ago. My mom is all I have left, she’s my best friend, we talk on the phone maybe 10 times a day and constantly FaceTiming because I have a little baby and it’s her first and only grandkid. My mom has been drinking a lot and smoking a lot and using my dads death as a excuse when she was doing it when he was here. She went to the doctor today and they’re sending her for a lung cancer screening 😥 because she smokes and gets out of breath and a blood test and she’s 60 years old.. just turned it. My mom is all we have left and I thought her having a grandkid would change her behavior. I also found out she stopped taking her cholesterol medicine because she ‘drinks’ instead. What can I do? I’ve tried everything I’ve been sitting crying all day. I only am 23 and don’t want both of my parents gone. What would you do?

Answer

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do except express to her that you really wish she would care for herself so that you can have her around for a long long time. I totally understand. In a similar boat over here. It hurts a lot to know your parent is self-destructing.￼ My mom has emphysema and instead of quitting smoking and doing what she needs to have better quality of life, she continues to smoke and get drunk and does God knows what else. So I feel your pain. It feels so powerless and hopeless, but they must choose their own path.

Answer

You can join Alanon, it would give you more support and understanding of what you can do. If you’re not sure what it is, it’s a group for loved ones of Alcoholics. I highly recommend it. Best of luck to you and your Mom!

Answer

As much as it sucks, there’s not much you really can do. She’s an adult, she knows the consequences, and won’t stop unless she really wants to herself

Answer

It’s hard I felt with my dad being alcoholic for 10 years till he got clean but I tried everything in those 10 years to get him to see the light and get clean but nothing worked.. I cried, I yelled, I got angry, cut contact, gave ultimatums but in the end nothing worked he needed to hit rock bottom to take action for himself.. 
I would just express how worried your feeling about her and how you don’t want to lose her... maybe offer to come stay and support her and help her get help with the drinking and smoking.. 
it’s hard living a life with addicts when they don’t value there own life and I slowly realised that you can’t make them change they have to want to change and there behaviour mentally affects you, definitely get councilling

Answer

Pray for her. If she’s anything like my mother, she won’t listen if you try to talk to her but you still gotta try.

Answer

Can she come and spend some time with you and the baby?

My moms self destructing herself, what would you do?

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