My “friend” that is more like a sneaky link came to my country this vacation because he is studying aboard, he always told me that he liked me and this vacation we were going out and he was extremely nice with me, We kissed before and he was reaaally affectionate, but I feel like is more of a link because is not like we can be a couple.

So on Saturday I made a reunion with my friends and he came too. we were drunk (he was more drunk than me) and he told me that we should go to my room so I agree but I told him that we couldn’t have sex and he told me it was fine So we were in my room kissing and then the things grew more and he wanted to touch me and give me an oral and everything was going extremely fast.

I just felt that I needed more kissing and touching and the other things so that I can be turn on but it was fine, then I let him give me an oral and a finger and then he wanted me to give him a handjob and I was willing to do it but the situation just wasn’t ideal so I tried and he just wasn’t feeling it so he started doing it himself.

Then All my friends were outside my door asking me to open so that they can leave some things there and I just hated it, I wasn’t comfortable with that many people literally outside my room so I started to dress again and he was like frustrated because I was doing that so I told him that I think is better to do it later and I he was frustrated and I thought he was Angry because I told him no (it has happened to me that boys get angry af when i told them no) so I was feeling bad and I told him if he can give me a hug. And he kissed me and was nice and told me that he doesn’t want to to something that I don’t want.

What is the deal here, I just feel frustrated because I Failed, I couldn’t do anything to him, we didn’t do anything also and I do wanted to have sex and do the other things, it was just not the moment, but what if because of that he just don’t want to do anything with me anymore? I feel like a failure and I don’t know if he feels ashamed or bad with me? Should I wait for him to text me? Because I just don’t want to seem needy or something like that. And he was my friend and I don’t want to loose that.

I want to know if someone has a failed story like that and hear your advices