Anyone dread trying again?

GG

I had a chemical pregnancy this month. Although it took a while to conceive my son a few year ago, it was a pretty easy ride after. I guess I got spoiled in that sense. I'd never had a miscarriage before, and while it has always been a worry of mine, I guess I understimated the impact. I'm just so...sad. It was never a baby, I never saw a heartbeat or even had more than a few days to get excited, but I think I got very bonded to an idea. I fell in love with what could be. So now I feel like I'm just grieving so much more intensely than I thought I woul...over a 4 week pregnancy. To the point now where I don't really want to try again. I want another baby. I want to give my son a sibling. Desperately. But I feel like my faith and trust in the process has been shattered. Innocence lost. If I cant get pregnant again, each month that passes will be another knife in my heart. If I do get pregnant again, I'll be unable to accept and embrace it. I'll just spend every day worrying and expecting it to end. The amount of anxiety tied to doing this after a miscarriage may be more than I can handle. Anyone else feel stuck like this?