At the beginning of the pandemic I found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me our entire relationship with sex workers. It was a complete shock. We had just bought a home right before I found out (he put the down payment and it was in his name but I paid for most of the renovations) so I moved out into my families house and have been living here ever since because there is not a single thing under $3k for rent. That same year my dad overdosed on heroin. Me and my best friend aren’t friends anymore because she started treating me like shit. My grandparents (who I live with and raised me on and off) hate me. Literally other family members make comments like “don’t you wish they loved you as much as they love your sister”. I try and ask my aunts and siblings if they want to have lunch or go swimming or for walks or something to try and bond with them and they say no and then just hangout together without me. I’m the type of person that does everything for everyone and I drop whatever I’m doing to make everyone happy and not one single person has EVER done anything out of their way for me. They always tell me I’ll figure it out. I always end up with the worst people and in the worst situations. I was seeing this man and he seemed so sweet and genuine. He was so into self development and becoming the best version of himself and then I got pregnant. He told me to get an abortion and that he hated me. Complete opposite of who he showed me he was before. I ended up having a miscarriage. I stopped talking to him. I haven’t been able to tell anyone because they all judge me. I just feel done with life. I just want to disappear. I’m so tired.

it’s hard to be mad at my family tho for not really caring about me because my mom (who is also their family) took me to another state so I could raise her other kids (she’s an addict and had hella kids) so they didn’t bond as much as they did with my sister who they took in since she was a little girl. (We’re twins) but my childhood was really abusive. To top it all off, I was helping someone pick veggies out of their garden and now I’m covered in bug bites and I just want to cry.