What’s wrong with me :(

I’m nearly 11 weeks postpartum, and I love my baby, yet I feel so many things that are negative. I feel lonely when it’s just us at home, I look at social media and feel jealous of other moms who seem so happy and effortless, and I’m jealous of my group of friends. They all have more than 1 kid (this is my first) and I don’t know if it’s in purpose, but I feel left out or excluded from their group conversations in our text messaging. They keep saying”team this” “team that” to things I don’t belong to, they constantly praise each other and I don’t feel seen or heard. I also know they were gossiping about my reaction to our friend having covid and made me feel worse about it because I was scared for my baby. I also live far from people and I have been trying to make an effort to hang and everyone has excuses not to… I feel isolated, alone and guilty for not being as happy with my baby as a new mom should. Why can’t I see how fortunate I am?

I think it’s probably the hormones talking, but I am not enjoying this postpartum journey as much as I want to and I don’t know when it’ll get better. Just needed to vent.