Just to clarify I have not experienced any sexual trauma or abuse, and my boyfriend and I are in a healthy loving relationship.

So my boyfriend (20) and I (18) lost it to each other in May, and everything is great. We've been dating for almost 18 months and we are still very romantic; he's a big sweetheart whom I love and trust very much. It feels good for us both, we respect each other's needs and wants and like to try new things as well. The only problem is every time I feel myself getting close, I get this horrible rising fear inside me and we have to stop. He has got off before during sex and it was fine. There is no pain, no discomfort, or anything like that. It gets so bad, the last time it happened I had to make him pull out because I started shaking and crying. I don't want this to drive us apart, and I want to be able to fully enjoy the experience.

To add context, maturation has done nothing but make me feel guilty and wrong basically my entire teenage life. Also, I have an insane irrational fear of pregnancy. We use condoms and I'm on the pill so we are fine, but yeah.

Has anybody else experienced this? Is there a name for it? Coitophobia is the fear of not being able to orgasm, but that's not it. Who would I even talk to about something like this?