I started dating my finance 4 years ago. We both met through our passion for fitness. However, once quarantine happened and the gyms closed. We both began to gain weight. I more than he did.

We both connect on a million different levels. However, we are both also very aware of what we are into in the person that we are with when it comes to attraction. This is especially relevant because we are both extremely sexual people.

I struggled a lot to get back into shape. Heck I’m still working at it. And as I would go on my runs or would do any type of cardio, my fiancé would tell me to make sure that I don’t lose my 🍑. He would always laugh and I would too because we both know that I like working on that part of my body the most and outside of the sweet stuff it’s what he’s attracted to in a woman.

Fast forward to right now. He’s replaced weight lifting with cardio & has been doing an insane amount of it. This includes the fact that he will try to stay at a calorie deficit but will do it in a weird unhealthy way where he will eat junk and just make sure that his calories stay at bay, so will replace healthy proteins with junk.

He’s gotten so skinny that people literally think that he’s sick. His face is sunken in and he has zero muscle mass left on his body. It’s seriously hard to see.

When I eat my regular meals I feel him judging me, even though I’m not overeating or anything. He still thinks that he’s “fat” even though his BMI puts him at under weight.

I’m into bulky muscular men. & the way that he talks about himself (he literally weighs less than I do now) makes me feel super uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I’m no longer attracted to him.

This has affected our sex life for about 6 months now. I feel the healthiest I’ve ever felt & I feel beautiful when I look in the mirror. But when I’m around him I extremely insecure. I start to think…”if he thinks that about himself.., what does he think about me?”

It’s made me push away sex even though I’m extremely sexual.

I’ve tried to get him help and he thinks that I’m crazy because he doesn’t think anything is wrong. He just proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. & instantly set a date for the wedding within a year.

I’d be super naïve to ignore all of this. Especially because I know that a healthy sex life is extremely important in marriage.

It literally has me fantasizing about my ex…. If you guys have watched the show “sex life” on Netflix… you can just imagine that, that’s my literal life… except for all of this added information. I wouldn’t cheat on him or anything insane. I just feel so horrible for this dilemma that I’m in as a whole. & I just desperately want things back to the way they were.

I’ve tried to have a million talks with him & it’s like he doesn’t understand any of it or is in denial.