False positive

I went to the gynecologist yesterday for a pcos checkup. She wanted to do an endometrial biopsy because my pcos has been all over the place for the past 11 months. She had me do a pregnancy test and came rushing back into the room saying change of plans, we’re not doing that biopsy today because you’re pregnant. Naturally I bawled my eyes out. Came home and took 2 tests that were both negative and quickly the immense excitement I had was deteriorating. I also had to do some labs yesterday which came back this morning, completely negative. She called me this morning to tell me she doesn’t know what happened and how I got a false positive.

Im heartbroken, I’m sad, I’m confused, I’m hurt. How could that happen to me? How does this happen? Why does this happen? I know these are all questions I’ll never get an answer to. When she told me I was pregnant I saw the world differently, like someone had flipped the lights on and the world went from pitch black to fully illuminated. Then all my hope was taken from me just as quickly as it was given to me. I want to cry but I can’t, the tears won’t come out. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to pull my hair out and kick and punch but I haven’t gotten out of bed in the past 16 hours. Did I have a miscarriage and she happened to catch the last little bit of hormones left in me? Why am I not pregnant? When will it be my turn to be pregnant and happy and thriving in all its glory? I just want a baby, I just want to be pregnant, I just want to feel normal, I want to be validated because around here you don’t matter unless you have children. What am I doing wrong? 😭