hi everyone, kind of a long and sad story here.

basically i've always had a problem relationship with my mom. she was abusive and manipulative to me throughout my childhood/teen years. i was almost put in the foster system and she told me "maybe you'll find a family who loves you". she also made me pay $600 a month to live with her after i lost everything to a flood and was homeless. she's just that kind of person. she's pretty wealthy and paid for me to go to an accelerated trade school this summer which has really changed my life. i'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity to pursue a career i'm really passionate about and i definitely wouldn't have been able to do that without her help.

as thanks i decided to fly home to visit for the first time in three years since i moved across the country (to escape her). we had somewhat of a stable relationship although there are so many things we hadn't talked about since i left, one being that i've been going by a different name since i was 17 and am at a point where i'd like to legally change my first name.

we had agreed to talk things through, she seemed eager to patch our relationship up and be close, which is something i've also really wanted. i don't have a relationship with my dad and the thought of having no parents at the age of 24 is really sad to me.

well, we "talked"... i tried to be vulnerable but calm and talk about my traumas without pointing fingers. it went horribly. she started calling me pathetic and sad for holding onto those memories and how great of a mother she's always been and how shitty i am and how much harder it's been for her. she refused to call me by my preferred name and went on a bizarre rant about how if i wanted to be a bag lady at the back of walmart she doesn't care. i was so hurt. after that fight she didn't look at me or talk to me all day. today she's acting like nothing ever happened and still calling me my old name even though i've given her several gentle reminders to use my preferred name.

at this point she has done and said so many things that tell me she simply doesn't respect me or care about my feelings enough to put her ego aside for two minutes to just LISTEN. i think it's time for us to part ways and no longer assume contact. she alluded to also wanting that when we fought. has anyone here had to cut contact with both parents? i feel like i'm grieving the idea of our relationship i had in my head and i'm so sad.