Serious question

Stay: in a shitty, loveless marriage, with an alcoholic, substance abuser that doesn’t respect you or help you with parenting in the slightest. stay until my kids are a little older

Leave: but have to deal with coparenting, he is a functioning alcoholic so likely 50/50 custody, buys “fake pee” for work drug tests so I know he would do the same for court, have to split holidays. deal with worrying about your kids safety, deal with possible girlfriends or a “stepmom” etc

I don’t want to stay but I literally cannot deal with the thought of missing out on half of my kids life. My parents divorced when I was one and my dad immediately got remarried to the worst woman, I seriously won’t be able to live with my kids having half of the experience that I did with a stepmom.

I don’t know what to do 😫 I know the answer is leave but HOW do I get passed everything else?