I want out... **** TRIGGER WARNING*** (suicidal husband)

For 3 years.. I thought everything would change. I thought he would treat me better. I thought everything would be my fault.. after realizing that cameras on me at home and location tracking was not normal; arguing had gotten more common. I didn’t want to be home..

yesterday was the last straw.... he was convinced I was cheating because I had been texting my dream to a friend.. my husband said “no. Get away from me I don’t want to bruise you again.” Then proceeded to grab a knife and cause harm to himself. About an hour later I had to go to work; he seemed fine; well my dumb ass left the babies with him and he attempted to overdose on my anti depressants and allergy pills.

My kids are 2 and 1. Now every time I go into my apartment I see everything; I see my 1-year old crying. My 2- year old scared, and blood on the floor.

***I did call paramedics***

He did this because he doesn’t want me to leave him, and he thought I was cheating.

I want to leave. I want out.

EDIT: He was admitted for maybe 7 hours but they released him and referred him to a psych.