I am diagnosed with chronic migraines, PTSD, and severe anxiety. I’m also gluten and lactose intolerant. This took years to diagnose because doctors wouldn’t believe me. We are still trying to figure out the rest on my health issues and my entire life I’ve struggled with the most simple things because my body “hates me”. I never self diagnose but I do look up things that match almost perfectly with my symptoms so I can kinda explain stuff to my doctors better (once again I would never say I had something without a doctor diagnosis). But I’ll see these other people with my disability’s or that have gone through the same thing as me and I’ll question if I’m just overreacting. I’ve never had to be rushed to the hospital. I’ve never passed out randomly or needed surgery or an IV so sometimes I just doubt. I’ve never shown pain like others. I’ve broken bones and walked off. I’ve ripped my nail off and didn’t realize. I’ve cut open my leg and didn’t know until my brother told me I was bleeding really bad. And I feel that’s another reasons doctors won’t listen. When they ask on a scale of 1-10 and I say a 5 they think it’s nothing but in reality to someone else it would be more like an 8-9. They have also told me I just wanted to get out of school (back when I was in school). Or they talk over me and dismiss what I’m saying. Doctors are supposed to be here to help so why do they constantly ignore their patients. My body is really weird like I can’t throw up unless I’m super sick. And I mean I was 3 heaving because I couldn’t puke. Or I was 9 asking my older brothers to punch me in the stomach so I’d puke. I’ll get super nauseous and I’ll try everything to throw up. One time I spent an hour with my fingers down my throat trying to puke because it would feel so much better if I did. And even when I do actually get to throw up I’ll do it like 5-7 times in a row then stop and not do it again. But because my body doesn’t react the same as others I’m constantly looked over. Doctors will ask me if a symptom is normal and I’ll say idk because to me it is but it may not be to the average person. I just don’t see why we have to constantly fight doctors while fighting our bodies. I once went to a sleep doctor and he was asking me all these questions like do you talk in your sleep or do you move, snore, etc. and I kept saying idk because I don’t watch myself sleep and I sleep alone and he didn’t even continue the exam because “I was fine”. I also never know if I should go to the hospital like last night my heart rate jumped to 156 bpm seconds after I stood up and I feel most people would go to the ER but because I have heart issues (yet to be diagnosed) I didn’t feel the need to because I’ve kinda learned to just figure out how to fix myself since doctors won’t listen. TMI I was having really bad blood in my stool and so I was sent to a specialist and he told me it was because I wasn’t getting enough fiber and was eating to much pizza and eating while laying down (I was taught to never eat while laying down, I hate pizza, and I’m always eating fiber rich foods) but when me and my mom tried telling him that he literally talked louder over us and repeated himself any time we would try saying anything. I went to a GI once and she said I had something that caused my stomach to digest food slower and put me on meds for it but when they called her for a refill she said she never said that and never gave a refill. Idk I just needed to rant somewhere. I have always wanted to pass out or something or need an IV or heart monitor or feeding tube etc. not because I thought it was cool or wanted to be disabled but because it meant doctors were listening and we were getting closer to me living a somewhat normal life. I mean I can’t even go to the store without having to sit down at least 3 times because I’m so physically exhausted I can’t stay standing or walking. But I don’t wanna use the electric buggy’s because I feel someone would need it more and that I should just suck it up. Thanks for reading my rant and pray (or do whatever you do) that I find a doctor that actually listens and will help me get back to a kinda normal life.