I fully understand if I get any form of hate on this. But i’d like to share my story and i seek advice on coping with my anxiety.

My ex was married. I was with him for 2.5 years while he was married. He could’ve gotten a divorce but in my country, you’d have to be at least married to your spouse for 5 years before applying for a divorce and it was only his 2nd year of marriage. His wife and him were on and off while I was still in the picture. We broke up 9 months ago when she caught us in bed together. And ever since then, it has been really traumatising for me. I’ve gathered a lot of strength to block him everywhere completely as well as cut and tore all of his clothes because he didn’t want to deal with my emotional needs the moment she caught us and he changed. He didn’t care about me at all. He cared about himself. Despite not seeing him or talking to him in the last 9 months, I still get the occasional anxiety that my partner is going to cheat on me in the future. I feel weird when other men touch me because I only gave my virginity to the married ex :( I get anxiety all the time wondering why he didn’t care enough for me. He blamed me for cuddling him for 10 mins more in the bedroom or else we couldn’t have gotten caught. He told me I was a mistake and a phase. Till today, its still hurts that he would say such things because it wasn’t just me in the relationship. It was me and him. Can anyone give me some advice on coping with my anxiety?