Mentally drained

I’ve been doing horribly mentally. Everything feels so hard. I got some anti depressants and sedatives from a doctor but they take time to work. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m not working, my husband works and pays for everything thankfully but that means he travels for his job to make us the money so the care of the kids and the house falls on my shoulders which is fine but when I struggle mentally with major depression I am so crippled with anxiety and stress. I don’t sleep good. I wake up a minimum of 7 times per night every night. Our kids sleep through the night. They go to daycare during the day. Why am I failing so bad? I work out during the day when the kids are in school, I run errands. I shouldn’t feel this way. I feel paralyzed. Everything is so hard. I hate myself and how useless I’ve become. My husband is even offering to call my mother in law and ask her to come help or have the kids for a week. But I can’t let that happen. I don’t do anything enough as it is. I don’t understand how my mental health is this bad. Idk what to do here.