Suicide Struggle


I used to struggle really badly with suicide. I used to be extremely suicidal. But after countless suicide attempts I gave up. Things got better when my husband and I met, fell in love, and got married. We got married this year shortly after finding out about and losing our and my first child. So, this year has been hard for me to enjoy or be happy with. I'm in the depression stage of grieving and.... my due date is December 19th. It's getting close. Too close for my liking. I struggle with having the knowledge that come December I won't be bringing home a new baby like I was supposed to. This whole year..... just turned out like it wasn't supposed to.... I feel lost... the closer my due date approaches the more I want to not exist. The more tempted I am to attempt and commit suicide again. Death just seems so sweet right now... I'm just so sad.... I won't have a new baby to take care of and <a href="">nurture</a> in the new year... I won't have anything to take care of and <a href="">nurture</a> in the new year....... someone please just kill me now.. I don't want to go on... I dont want to live anymore..