My grandmother passed away 2 days ago. I just entered my second trimester and I can’t stop being depressed. She practically raised me along with my parents and lived with me her entire life. She was my actual best friend who I told everything to and all my secrets that no one knows (mostly sneaking out and she’s cover for me when I was a teenager). I feel a pain that won’t go away and I’m overwhelmed with memories and sadness. In the hospital I held her hand well past the moment she passed away for hours. My husband has been helping me in every way doing mostly everything for me. I cannot do this. I don’t know how to move on and the pain consumes me. I miss her. She was 94 and her death came out of nowhere. She had been fine all day then all of a sudden had a pain and we went to the ER and sighing 5 hours she was gone due to her intestine being completely dead. In a matter of hours. Me and my brothers are depressed. My poor dad who lost his last family member now. My mom who was very close to her. I just.. I can’t. But I’m also so afraid my baby is okay because I haven’t stopped crying, I don’t even want to talk to people. I’m devastated and destroyed. This is mostly venting I suppose. Thank you for listening.