No more holidays…

So my mom did the best she could with what she knew. She isn’t very self aware which lead her to be very toxic to us kids & family in general. Being 23 I now understand and accept she needs to heal within herself… we’ll growing up if she had a problem with a family she’d keep us away from them or family in general so around 16 we stopped going to family events which was big in our life. It was always an exciting time and something I look forward too. Unfortunately I lost that connection with my family… well… my mom texted me a few minutes ago saying “I’m not longer having holidays at my house, moving forward you should plan for yourself” I replied with “why’s that?” She answered “things change, that’s just how it is now”… WELL THANKS…..!! I’ll literally just be having thanksgiving, Christmas & birthdays with me and my toddler alone now… I feel very hurt & makes me want to cry… me and my daughters father aren’t together and I’m just so sad I really don’t have anyone else in my life.. I’ve tried reconnecting with my family & it’s just weird now.. I don’t really connect with them anymore I feel like the black sheep at family parties like no one really wants me there and I’m just there.. it sucks and I’m just very sad right now