Long story

TL/DR: I need a dog for my mental health, he didn’t want one despite knowing from 1st date I wanted one. Finally in a position I can care for one, it doesn’t effect him at all, but was too anxious to tell him so I just got it anyway. He’s mad but his reason for me to not get one was invalid because we have separate finances.

So we’ve been together for 7 years, and I had a 1 year old at the time. I told him on our first date, that I was a huge animal/ dog person, and so would be getting a dog the first chance I could reasonably care for one. I have talked about wanting/needing a dog in my life and how important it is for my mental health increasingly over the years, and he expresses the same dissent, with no better reason than “it’s another mouth to feed” and that we were renting and I would need landlord permission. Landlord permission yeah okay fair, obviously I wouldn’t put our housing in jeopardy for a dog but being another mouth to feed doesn’t effect him. We have a weird relationship I guess because our finances are completely separate. We split up our financial responsibilities, and adjust depending on who’s making what. Like he pays the vehicle payments and he pays the insurance on it. I pay the rent and utilities, then we both buy groceries and have personal debts(no shared accounts/credit cards).

We moved in with his parents a few months ago and they have a dog, that I end up spending a lot of time with cause his dad works out of town a week on a week off, and his mom works full time, so it’s me the kids and the dog every other week. Then when his dad his home, the dog is very much his dads dog.

His mom wanted another dog but his dad didn’t want another dog to take care of. I asked her (it’s her house) if I could get a dog, and she said I could. I told my SO that I would be getting a dog, and that his mom already okayed it. But it was kind of an “in the undetermined future” kind of way, but I had already put a deposit on a puppy(or maybe I was still talking to my mom about which puppy, I’m not sure but it was definitely going to happen within weeks).

I wanted to tell him before I went to visit my mom and pick my puppy up, but I knew he would have a shitty reaction and just hurt my feelings and be pissy and just ruin my excitement. I didn’t know how to tell him in a way that wouldn’t end with a fight, so I didn’t end up telling him before going.

Now he’s pissed of course, and apparently giving me the silent treatment. But he literally has to do nothing for the dog. He has no more responsibility to it than he does to his dads dog(who he gets along fine with). He works night shifts so he doesn’t sleep in bed with me, and he’s not around during the day.

I understand being upset about not being told, but his reasons for me to not get one just aren’t good enough for me. I just hope he gets over it, but if not 🤷‍♀️ I guess one of us will have to find somewhere else to be.