I lied to my BF and I feel awful. What do I do?


For context, we are both college students in love doing a LDR 200 miles apart.

I’ve been lying to my boyfriend about so many things and I feel genuinely so awful about it because he treats me so well and nicely. I lied to my boyfriend that I live in an apartment with my friends. I don’t, I live at home with my parents and I don’t have any friends. I guess o just told him this because I’m insecure about the fact that I live at home while everyone else my age lives on campus w their friends. He goes to school in NYC with so many friends and has so much fun, so I don’t want him to think I’m a loser for not having any friends. I also lied to him about partying. I tell him I go out to parties. Or rhat I won’t be able to text because I’m at a party, when in reality I’m in my bed watching TV. I know I shouldn’t have lied about it but I’m just insecure that I don’t have as many friends.

Recently, he’s been saying he wants to buy train tickets to come see me. When he suggests this, I try to change the subject. Or just ignore him entirely because I’m too much of a coward to tell the truth. Last night however, it got serious. He said he was currently on the website buying tickets to come see me. I immediately froze and mt only plan was to lie and tell him I was going to a concert w another guy so that he leaves the subject alone and doesn’t want to talk to me because once again; I’m a coward. Now he thinks I was cheating, and idk what to do. I love him very much but I just feel like he deserves someone who won’t lie to him like that.

What should I do?