So it’s been a while since I’ve felt excited for something or generally happy without any lingering thoughts to ruin my mood. I can’t tell if it’s the pandemic or if there’s something wrong with me. I’m always anxious, like I worry about everything. I worry about my kids getting sick, I worry when my kids are sick, I worry about something happening to my kids, I worry about my own health, every little pain I worry that it could be something worse, do I have a blood clot, am I having a heart attack, brain aneurysm? It’s exhausting worrying about everything like this. Sometimes I wish I could turn that part of my brain off for a bit and just enjoy life worry free. I never used to worry this much, not until this stupid pandemic started. And now I live in a province that the government obviously doesn’t care enough to implement proper restrictions as were considered the Florida of Canada. I also work in a hospital so this stress just gets worse.

Then there’s the whole “well and I depressed?” The reason I think this is I don’t look forward to things anymore, like I don’t feel excited at all for anything. I miss the feeling of looking forward to something but it just doesn’t happen anymore. I also have zero motivation, I struggle to motivate myself to clean my house, to cook a meal, to workout, to even do laundry or shower or anything for that matter. I will bring this up with my doctor when I see him next but I’d like to know if anyone else is going through this? What helps you cope?