Has anyone been in the same situation?

Question

Anyones husband broken the trust by emotionally or physically cheating?
What things did you do to make it work for those who chose to stay? How are you now after the event happened?
I found out my husband was messaging other women and I honestly feel so broken down about it…. Much more just don’t have the energy to type

Answer

I can tell you multiple case after case of situation is that it didn’t work out, unfortunately you have to think of infidelity as a piece of paper that’s been crumbled in the palm of your hand, unfortunately the paper will never be the same, you can try and smooth out the lines all you want, but unfortunately the lines of deception will always be there, it will always be in the back of your mind, you will always wonder to yourself if they are really where they say they are, talking to who they say they are talking to, are they really working late, are they really at the gym, etc. you never really get over that kind of hurt, things will never be the same, you will always hold it over their head, and you will always doubt everything they say and tell you that they are doing. I can tell you story after story after story of people who cheated, I deal with it every single day in my office, from long-distance truck drivers who have a family in one state with kids and have a family with kids in another state, I know a man who cheated on his wife for years ago, with a woman and he was with her for four years, and when things didn’t work out, she said I’ll divorce you if you do this again. She stayed with him, she held it over his head of course, they have two teenage kids, she has a house wired with Cameras everywhere, if he doesn’t answer you know darn well she’s checking the cameras, his car with GPS, and he still manages to cheat for years later. He messes around near his job so it looks like he’s at his job, there’s always a way to cheat, if they truly want to cheat. Whether it is in a parking lot, whether it is any supply closet, etc. it makes me laugh when women say oh my husband doesn’t have time to cheat, if he truly wants to, and the opportunity presented itself, oh they figure it out. The only thing that’s going to fix the situation, is maybe some counseling, but you also have to realize that you may be the only one that wants to fix the situation and he’s just telling you what you want to hear. If he was truly in love with you, he wouldn’t have eyes for other people. And that’s what you have to realize that cheating is a choice, it is a decision that someone makes to step out on the relationship, it’s not like he slips and falls And he just happened to be naked and fell into her vagina or happen to whoops a pop-up blocker popped up in a conversation started with another woman no, he consciously made the decision to do some thing. It is a choice, it is a decision, it is a conscious choice. An opportunity presented itself and they took advantage of it. That’s exactly what it is, have him at home stable life, and seeing what you can get away with. Having their cake and eating it to￼￼￼

Answer

Before you think straight to divorce go to counseling. Unless all bridges are burned already for you. 
Tell him you aren't giving him trust, it has to be earned. He has to show you and continue to show you every single day that you can trust him. 
The pain won't go away over night and he needs to know that. 
Be open. Keep your business between you guys, no one will forgive him the way you may be able to.

Answer

What has he said about it? Therapy would be a good option. That is only if he wants to change..

Answer

I haven’t been in this situation but I’d assume couples counseling?

Answer

Unfortunately my husband was doing this 3 years ago and still to this day, I don’t feel 100% that he’s not still doing it. It’s super tough and hard on your mental health. But I love him so I’m trying to just look past it.

Answer

We went through marriage counseling. He was truly sorry about it. It was something that was happening since he was pretty young. He just needed the ball to drop to find his way out. Although, I should mention in our case it was an active search for craigslist ladies. He never met up with anyone.

Answer

This is an extremely hard thing to go through and harder for the ones who choose to stick it out. I chose to stick it out because no matter what I love him and marriage is supposed to be forever and if we could get through this then we could get through anything. It was the worse and most trying time of my life. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. We started to meet with our preacher for counseling and it helped. If you don’t have a preacher you can find another type of couple counseling or even just for yourself because it can take a toll on how you feel about yourself. It happened so early in our marriage and 10-10-21 will be six years married. We made it but not without trying really really hard and seeing him change. You both have to want it. I’m sorry this was so long but you are strong and you are worthy of faithful love. Just follow your heart.

Has anyone been in the same situation?

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