Second, third, fourth time etc. mamas

This is my 3rd baby… my first, I had an accidental episiotomy (the doctor’s hands slipped cutting me accidentally), that was over 14 years ago. My 2nd came out so fast, he gave me fourth degree tearing, literally from my vagina to my rectum. Went right through my sphincter….I know, TMI, but I’m trying to paint the picture. I had 100+ stitches, the OB lost count after so many. It healed decently, although, my rectum area healed a little awkwardly. (There’s a very small extra hole…don’t ask!) This was almost exactly 2 years ago. I’m petrified that this is going to happen again especially since the area is sensitive still.

Anyone have any encouragement, success stories, that maybe this won’t happen again?!! Ugh 😑

And to make matters worse (in this aspect) my labors happen so fast that I don’t have time for an epidural, etc. so I FEEL EVERYTHING!