Let me throw this out there

So my husband and I were walking with our son to the supermarket close to our home to buy sth for him to eat. Our son was throwing a fit and refused to walk. He is 2¼. He only wanted me. So I carried him. While carrying my small diaperbag. And 100 pounds so I started feeling his weight in my hips and they hurt, that I was waddling. I did mention it that am in pain. He continued to ignore it. As some point I asked him why he can't even say sorry just to show empathy. He told me "I don't owe you a sorry" I was taken hurt and said no more. Then he went ahead to tell me saying sorry is good but I dont have to demand for it. I kept quiet still. We walked all the way and back in my pain quiet. Yeah I know I could have driven there but it is a 5 minute walk really and we usually don't drive such short distances just to have some time to walk and exercise. Along the way, he wanted to now carry stuff and make small talk. But I feel he doesnt care for me. This is not the first time. He hasnt shown care for years now. When I was pregnant and someone would meet us and say why am I carrying stuff when he is walking empty handed, he would say other women carry stuff too. So many small blows I keep getting from him that I can't go into right now. He says he loves me but I feel he acts otherwise. When it comes down to discussing what is wrong, he says everything is fine and he loves me. I just dont know. Ultimately he makes sense because he is very intelligent and convinces me stuff is ok but then he does things and I know that is not how to treat someone you care for.

Anyway. I dont even know what advice am asking for because it is complicated. Some days I feel maybe am too sensitive. But I dont want to become cold and not care. That aint the kind of marriage I want. Anyway. Guys give me any advice, reproach or tips if you make sense of what I wrong because am confused.

Please don't say couples therapy because he already refused that. One, he says we don't need it but also says I just want to report or expose our marriage.

So after the whole day of ignoring me, we went to a party, that we were invited to. And out of no where, he was all touching me, smiling, talking and after the party, he is back to his own world. I cant do with this pretence. It aint me. But I do get it that I need togreen our marital problems a secret but there is no effort in solving our problems but just putting on an act. Maybe am over thinking it.