i’m so sorry

i have a 2 almost 3 year old (in march) and the last time i took her to her doctors appointment was before she had even turned one. i know i’m a bad mother to her for this but i don’t know what to do about it. i don’t wanna have cps take her away which is one of the main reasons why i’m too afraid to take her, and my pediatrician droppped us because i was missing appointments and i wasn’t going at first because my insurance stopped and i wasn’t going to be able to pay for it anymore, i should’ve looked into more options but i just didn’t know what to do. My daughter doesn’t seem to have had any problems at all, the most sick she has gotten is a cold, from what i can tell she’s like any other 2 year old, even gets confused for being older considering how big she is and how she communicates and just in general how she is. and that’s not me saying i’m opposed to taking her to the doctor just because she seems normal, i just wanted to make it clear that she’s not having any problems what so ever, and this paragraph is all jumbled up with excessive things as i’m reading over it but i just need help. i don’t want her catching anything that can be serious because she doesn’t have her vaccinations or getting sick to the point where i have to take her to the hospital and especially with covid happening right now i’m especially scared. i just need a way to be able to get her to a new doctor without them taking her away from me. and i know i may get some comments saying i deserve to have her taken and i understand but i can’t have that. ive been doing to bad mentally, since the beginning of my pregnancy to even now. there are times where i believe that i’m not fit to be her mother but i want to be. i wanna be there for her and do better but at this point with getting her to the doctor i’m so afraid of something happening. please what can i do.