Opinions on missing an event

So I’m almost 19 weeks pregnant, I rsvp’d yes to my cousins shower back in august and now we’re having family issues (not with my cousin who the shower is for, but with my aunt and cousins sibling). I’ve been suffering very badly with anxiety and depression during pregnancy and have recently started seeing a therapist. I am so anxious about her shower and honestly just big events in general (being around a lot of people makes me extra anxious, I worry about getting sick, family issues aren’t helping). I just feel so guilty rescinding my rsvp, I’ve never been someone to do that but I actually feel sick to my stomach when I think about going. I just feel like a horrible person. I am working with my therapist on setting boundaries and putting my feelings first, just haven’t had enough sessions to actually be okay with it, clearly…any advice would help. I should put myself and baby first, right? I just don’t know what to say if I don’t go, maybe just that I’m really not doing well mentally? They are aware and it actually got so bad that I was in the ER like 3 weeks ago, hoping people would understand. I’m just a mess 😭

pregnancy is really hard, this is my first and I’m struggling :( it will all be worth it though when I get to home my little guy!